So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
