Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sorry about my life...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
