I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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