just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
