im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
