road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I currently don't understand fingers.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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