So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
