Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
