my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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