he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
