let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
