just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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