girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
