who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
