jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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