i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
