I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
