Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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