She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
