you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
