I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
