I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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