You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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