Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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