Taylor Swift is so right about you.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
