all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
