I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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