The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
