We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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