hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
