On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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