my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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