I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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