Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
