I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
