I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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