PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize