is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
