i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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