So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
