Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
