so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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