On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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