Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
