Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
