so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
