it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
