you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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