just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
