its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
