I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
