so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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