i permit you to call me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
