there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize