Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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