Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize