All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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