Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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