office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
