I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
