I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize