there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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