Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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