Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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