My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
