Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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