I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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