lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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