I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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